The Situation Situated!

Mike Sorrentino is about to be a few million dollar situation. Web TV DeluXe drank their hatorade recently and don’t seem to understand why this no talent a$$ clown will be worth that much!!! So we found out from Hollywood Reporter that The Jersey Shore grenade could earn up to $5 million this year. The 29-year-old has a workout video and is earning endorsements from a new line of vodka. Damn! You serious!?!? Most women say he has an awesome body with a land mine face so I guess that’s why he’s supporting vodka. He also got a six-figure advance for his upcoming autobiography. How riveting! What in the world is he writing about? The sad part is people will read it… Hopefully it’s how he first discovered STDS. (Like I said — we drank a bottle of hatorade) Plus- word is he will be on the next and final season of Entourage, where he’ll play a one-armed gimp named Horatio. Damn it! Now we are jealous extremely jealous. Who wouldn’t want to be on Entourage being a 1 armed gimp?!?! Supposedly The situation will also be moving his killer abs and competing in Dancing with The Stars. Rumors are also circulating that he will also take the role as the next Zack Morris in Saved By The Bell The next generation. Good for you buddy! I will train my kid to do 50 sit ups a day now so he can make millions in the future.