Much like the Queen 0- the kings of all the internet here at WebTV deluxe are saying goodbye today– or rather see you later. We’re coming back – like Oprah- bigger and better than ever with a new network. And since we copied off of her- we thought we’d be nice and make Oprah our last Female of the Week. There isn’t enough space to list all of the reasons and all of
her good deeds done over these last 25 years. So we won’t even try. Rock on Oprah and we’ll see you on the flip side.

“He’ll be back”. And so will we. So before we go on our little hiatus, we have to name him the wackadoo of the week. Terminator? Ugh. Governator? Those days are over. Sperminator? A little more like it. But we think Wackadoo is the perfect fit for Arnold Schwarzenegger. To quote former wackadoo of the week Jesse James, millions of men cheat on their wives. But why oh why knock up your fugly housekeeper and then hide it for years? Because you are a wackadoo that’s why. See you later Wackanator.

In dedication to mothers day…. Here is a bunch of mama jokes.

Yo Mama So Ugly
she put the Boogie man outta business.

she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt

when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, “Damn it, can’t believe it’s Halloween already…”

when she applied for the ugly contest they told her ‘NO Professionals’

she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!

minutes after she was born her Mother shouted ‘What a treasure!” and her Poppa said “Yes, now let’s go and bury her…”

they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.

when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours….and that was just for the quote!

yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye…

she put Marilyn Manson out of business.

she was a guard at Snake Mountain

they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock…

even Harry Knowles refused to date her.

they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!

Your Mama So Fat
when she step on the Weight Scales it says…’to be continued’…

she once went on a seafood diet…whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm…

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her…behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

Yo Mama So Stupid
I told her drinks were on the house…so she went and got a ladder…

she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Cif.

she noticed a sign reading ‘Wet Floor’…so she just did!

it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, “Wow, it comes with cable too!”

she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

she got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

she sold her Car for Petrol cash!

she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund…

she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.

she leaves tell tales signs she’s been using my computer – white out (tipp ex) is on the screen.

she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.

I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.

she invented a silent car alarm.

that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean

she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies…

she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.

she was born on Halloween and can’t remember her birthday.

she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.

she lost her shadow.

she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko.

she somehow got fired from a Blow-Job

Yo Moma So Poor
that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

they put her photo on food stamps.

when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

she waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.

burglars break into her home and leave money.

when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.

the building society repossed her cardboard box.

she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk’s fingers

she can’t even afford to go to the free clinic.

when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was doing….’Moving’ she replied.

I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.

when I rang her doorbell, SHE said ‘Ding-Dong’

I asked her where the ‘facilities were’ and she replied – “Pick a corner…ANY corner…”

I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed – “Who’s tearing down the drapes!!!!”

I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said “Sure thing, it’s 4th tree on your right…”

only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted…

when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered – “Lost a shoe?”, and she said – “Nope…just found one…”

she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley….with a box on it…

she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

I went into her ‘living room’, stepped on a Fag butt and she shouted – “Oi, who turned off the heater!”

I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying – “Who knocked???”

I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.

she does drive by shootings on the school bus.

when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she groule – “Don’t use the good china”

So OK…. As of late several events have occurred. Earthquakes, Tsunamis, tornadoes, the death of Osama Bin Laden, butt pirates, etc… The lists goes on and on. However, Web TV Deluxe will not use any excuses for our lack of updates. This is our heart felt apology going out to the 10 people who log on everyday. To be honest with you, former employees and professionals used this site for their stepping stone and eventually moving forward to their dream careers. Think of us like Good Luck Chuck except for media professionals… So bare with us or follow us on twitter or even like us on facebook so you know when to log in. So with that said — Our Mid-week wackadoo goes out to a man we met in the past. Vincent Pastore who was once known as Big Pussy gets this prestigious award. To make a long story short. Vinny Mac flipped out this weekend after a member from his crew accused him of drinking too much to drive. Common Big Puss! He was looking out for ya. So anyway, TMZ once again obtained footage of this mini fiasco. According to TMZ Vinnie eventually abandoned his pussy mobile and rode home with a friend. We probably could’ve picked a better wackadoo but we took the lazy way out. Check out our past interview with Vincent underneath the TMZ video. Too bad for Mr. Pastore that he got caught up in our fan apology as we just used him for decoy.

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=962cbb59-5204-41fe-835a-6bf3b4aa45a1&isShareURL=true

The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla Chris Jericho won numerous amounts of championship belts. The Lion Heart’s resume includes winning the first WWE Undisputed Championship, being a tv show host, a film actor, a front man for his band Fozzy, a NY Times best selling author, a reality show star and a contender for Dancing with the Stars. Tough luck! I guess WWE Universe couldn’t keep up with the crane kick. But the one thing he never received is the honor of being called Web TV DeLuXe’s hero of the week. Jericho deserves this title without a doubt for reasons of being a top performer in the entertainment industry. In WWE, Y2J has the ability to manipulate the fans to hate him or love him. And let’s not forget his athleticism either. Despite what you thought of him — Jericho is in fact pure entertainment. As a performer on stage, dancing with Cheryl Burke or even tv hosting, he gave it his all. So Jericho, this is WebTV’s salute to ya!

This week, Web TV finally decided to make the hottie from Desperate Housewives the female of the week. Out of the blue, Eva Longoria has been making her mark in the media. From having a controversial break up with San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker to paparazzi covering her serious romantic endeavors with Penelope’s broski Eduardo Cruz — Eva is still an interest in a gossip columnist eye. After being MIA from the big screen for 3 years, the former soap star lands three leads. Look for her in theaters in 2011 and 2012.

I regret to inform you that you are once again Web TV Deluxe’s wackadoo of the week. We are only doing this because we care. This week was 420 and The Starz Channel was playing Half Baked. I’ve probably seen it twenty times but it still entertains the sh*t out of me. Abrahcadabra!!! It just reminds me of how talented you use to be. I remember when you were on a stand up tour and told the crowd if you ever go broke you would make Half Baked 2. I guess you’re not out of money…. Just plain ol f*cked up. Although you do rather look jacked. So we recently found out from TMZ that you were chillin like a villain in Coachella. I understand that this is your rare public appearance, but common now Mr. Chappelle!!!! YOU WERE CLEARLY WRECKED like a 17-year-old drunk boy at prom night. At the very least, do not show your fans the addiction you have for stoges and the fact that you are partying like its 1999. Only Prince can do that! Make Chappelle Show season 4 and redeem yourself.

Yours Truly,
I’m not Rick James B*tch